Crocosmia

Meditations on Magic in Southern Indiana
copyright 2014

Blessed Black Mother

Dance with death around your neck.  Lie under my feet in peace.

A goddess of transformation requires endings for change.  Where and when will the ending come?  The way I spend my day?  Just a little change?  On the trail without my mace?  

I have a friend whose face is stressed with death.  Spends his nights restlessing with the blessed Black Mother.  What can I say?  The only things I know:  love, chaos, kissing, flow, saying what you mean when a loved one goes (even just for groceries).  These are the only things I know-but I’m listening every day for more ways.  I too sing these-but for me they come in the shadows of the day; the darkness between the rays.

Endings are fearsome things because fierce joy is just on the other side.    

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Zero to One

The bog has dried up.  Open up your eyes and you’ll see your caked boots. A stream of water is trickling in from the sea, washing the dirt from your legs.  Twelve months of standing and waiting is disappearing into the distance, resetting the universal dial back to zero.  

The goddess of the rainbow is stirring.  She has plopped her pretty feet on the floor, looking around sleepily for her winged shoes.  Her son has been up all year, still fucking the flower faced boys from the last festival;  shaking the selenite towers on her nightstand with perpetual love.  Her pride shines, reflects off the gold cup before her.  She pours the waters of the Styx from her pitcher and takes a sip.  

The next amount of time will different, but only if today is.

Yes

Y                            E                                 S

Yes I am.

Yes I will.

Yes I do.

Yes I did.

Yes I want to.

Yes I heard.

Yes that’s me.

Yes 

Y                                  e                              s

X: The Wheel of Fortune

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You never really know.  Control is a thing that never really existed.  There is so much energy expended on control that we pass out from it at night.  Time spent trying to control is time forgotten at the end of life, a black space of regret.

We give and we get.  There is a common hub that never moves which is LOVE.

Water Dragon

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My water dragon…I never ever thought I’d think of a dragon.  It was the thing at which I drew the line.  Faeries, yes, plant spirits, yes, werewolves, even yes, but I drew the line at dragons.  (Molly draws the line at aliens.)

The water dragon starts as a little worm in the darkness at the bottom of a lake.  It eats and grows and grows.  It learns to move in the darkness.  It takes what it is given; that which falls to the bottom is its sustenance.  Over the years it develops fins.  Smooth shiny scales form.  It learns to protect itself.  It becomes mobile, able to swim up and down.  It grows into itself.  It becomes what it is meant to be:  a dragon.

The depths are as familiar as the sun.  Water flows, we float or we fight.  We have a choice.  Sit at the bottom or bask in the sun, every day.  Sometimes the bottom is where it’s safe, sometimes the depths pull us under.  But we are familiar with them.  They are a natural habitat.  They can be a choice.

Yes, there is a water dragon in Lake Monroe.  Lake Monroe IS a water dragon!  Ride the snake…

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Vera

http://www.vera-groningen.nl/

Vera is a venue in the Netherlands.  I share the name because it was one of the most inspiring places I have ever been.  There is a map of the world on the wall where musicians from all over write notes to each other and sign their states and countries.

The place is run by volunteers.  It is one of the most well-run venues I have ever encountered.  The sound is exquisite.  The posters were beautiful.  The rooms were great.  Yes, they put up the musicians in little hotel rooms in the vast compound.  Dead Moon played their last show there.

I was blessed by that trip, and cursed too, but Vera is the shining star.  I will return someday with the loves of my lives and sing on that stage again.  I will sing again.

Uncovering, Unlearning, Understanding

I am uncovering the meaning of life:  LOVE

I am unlearning both being too bold and cowering when I should stand.

I am understanding these lessons as something that is to be done every day and that I am standing under the might of the universe, which will always hold me should I fall asleep and forget to uncover or unlearn.

Also unlearning how to not make art.  Thanks friends who do, do, do, and thanks friends who take pleasure in relaxing every day.

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